Heartbreak, defeat, and moving forward like a boss.

Lately i've found myself in a weird place in my life.  I recently broke up with my boyfriend, which, although he knew it was coming, did not take well.  That was a whole ball of drama I did not want or need.  Men say women are nutso all the time....i think sometimes they need to look in the mirror. 

And if any gentlemen read this....please take this little bit of advice.  When a girl is leaving, or you are in a fight with her--don't make it a point to attack her flaws.  Especially ones beyond her control.  Yes, I have anxiety problems.  Lots of them.  But that doesn't give anyone the right to crucify me for it either.  It is a battle i've fought since I was a kid.  For the first time in my life, i'm winning that battle.  To pick me apart for it is tacky and gross.  It breeds resentment.  Don't do it fellas. 

After my ex and I split, I took off to my hometown of San Diego for a few days to decompress.  I'm still unsure if it was a good or bad idea.  I had a blast don't get me wrong.  I love seeing my family, and this trip was no exception.  However, this trip was different.  During the course of about 48 hours, i discovered most of my childhood was a lie.  At the very least, anything my mother told me of her past was a lie.  My past too for the matter.  It was a harsh and eye opening experience. But it also made me realize....you are not in fact a product of your environment.  But only if you choose not to be.  

Here are a few pics from my San Diego adventure:

So after all was said and done, I was a mess. I was in a weird transitional part in my life, and I wasn't sure how to handle it.  Then I realized, I didn't HAVE to handle it!  I just had to move forward.  So i put on my big girl panties, gave life the finger, and pushed forward.  Since, I have cut contact with the crazy ex, and kept my mother at arms length.  I have to be a strong woman, not because I have to, but because I should.  I should be a strong woman who doesn't let little things get to her.  Even if i'm not, I need to put on a good front.  I have a little girl. she will one day look back at my life and I will be damned if she has the same experience that I did.